Our Peaceful Warrior

It seems we've turned a corner, and not the direction we had hoped.

Glenn has had declining strength the past week. He has been sleeping most of the time. The tumors have caused swelling on his left side and he has again lost most of his mobility. They are also causing problems with vertigo and nausea.

On Saturday he said he didn't think he could hang on any longer. He asked to have all of his family come so he could tell them goodbye. Words can't begin to express the pain of the reality we are facing. Glenn then went to sleep and woke up a few hours later in pain. We have felt so blessed throughout the journey that he has not had any pain. Watching him experience it is such a helpless feeling. We do have an amazing hospice team and they have guided us each step of the way. The pain medication was started and he was able to take it every 15 minutes. After about 3 hours he was able to sleep. Gratefully, he hasn't had any pain since then.

Glenn is so kind and loving. Even in his hours of pain and suffering he was thinking of others. Saturday was our daughter Jamie's birthday. He kept telling us he didn't want to ruin Jamie's day. As he would drift in and out of consciousness, he would come to and ask what day it was. I told him it was still Saturday. He said, "I can fight a little longer."

He has restlessly slept most of yesterday. He did wake up suddenly and ask for ice cream. As I fed him ice cream in bed, he took my hand and held it. He said, "I love you. I love you more than anything. But I am dying."

He continues to hold on and fight his battle the way he has lived, peacefully. Brennan has been with me since Thursday, Lindsay and Jared and the grand babies will be here today, and Jared and Jamie will be here tomorrow. We all know our days are numbered, we just don't know how many of those days there are. Glenn's seem to be fewer than we had hoped. There are so many selfish things I want to pray for but reluctantly I pray for what is best for Glenn. Comfort and peace. Please pray for him also.



Linda

A Very Happy Birthday!

For those of you who didn't know, today (16th) is Glenn's birthday! To celebrate, Jared and Jamie flew over from Portland to celebrate with Glenn and Mom. They have spent the day relaxing and enjoying being together, which is exactly what Glenn wanted.

Happy Birthday Glenn!

He has appreciated all of the cards and emails to help him celebrate. We also are so grateful for all of the acts of service, the delicious meals, the prayers, and so many blessings we have received. Your kindness has been so needed at this difficult time. Thank you so much!

Enjoying the day

A Grand Wish Granted

 Last week Glenn was visiting with the hospice social worker. They were discussing memorable trips and experiences we have had and she asked him about things he would still like to do.  The topic of food came up and he told her of all the wonderful food he's experienced, the best was at the Geiser Grand Hotel in Baker City, Oregon. He said the prime rib there had set the high mark as the best of all he has tried.

About 13 or 14 years ago we had taken the kids to stay at the Geiser Grand for a weekend. The hotel is beautiful and grandeur. It always reminds us of the luxury touted from The Titanic. It has to be seen to be believed. Baker City is only about two hours from Boise and is perfect for a change of pace when we want to feel like we've taken a mini vacation or just do something different than a weekend at home. Many memories were made that first weekend we stayed there as a family. The prime rib was seared into Glenn's memory as the best ever. Whenever he's had prime rib other places he will say, "It's good, but it's not Geiser Grand good!" The kids loved the luxurious, plush, white bathrobes (and still remember the threat that they better still be there when we leave!) and the surprise when Glenn had room service deliver ice cream to them in the room for a bedtime snack.  We knew it had a memorable impact when Jared and Jamie called us one weekend to let us know they had snuck away for the weekend to the Geiser Grand--just to get away! We have strategically planned our trips back and forth to Portland to coincide with lunch or dinner time in Baker City so we can stop at the Geiser Grand for a meal.

As we shared our experiences, Glenn told her just thinking about going there made him wish he could have one more opportunity to relive such enjoyable memories. She said if he was feeling up to it she would see what she could do.  We received a call from Doug at Wish Granters. Wish Granters of Idaho grants Wishes to adults 18 and older who have terminal illnesses and who live in Ada and Canyon counties.  They come into the lives of these individuals and give them something to look forward to and something to hold on to, at a time when they need it the most.  They also give their families a memory they can have forever. Glenn had the option of wishing for numerous material goods. What he wanted most was to create memories.

We spoke with Doug the middle of the week and by Saturday we were on our way to the Geiser Grand! They had arranged for two nights, meals, and incidentals for the weekend.  They were so generous and considerate of our needs.  The hospitality of the Geiser Grand is always outstanding but I can't thank them enough for the special attention they gave Glenn and me while we were there.  Barbara and her staff were above and beyond amazing.  She had arranged for a private tour and narrative of the hotel which we really enjoyed.

Sunday activities included a horse-drawn carriage ride around Baker City. The carriage driver was a charming, long-time Baker City cowboy that had worked on the movie "Paint your Wagon" that was filmed in Baker.  He told us many antics of working on the movie and with the crew, as well as interesting stories and information about Baker City. We enjoyed snuggling as we toured the city with our wonderful tour guide.



Thanks Ron!



And then there was the food. I think Glenn told me forty times, "The food here is to LIVE FOR!"

And it really is! He could hardly wait for dinner to have the prime rib. It made him so happy when the chef, Gary, came to our table to see personally how he would like his prime rib. He explained the preparations and the attention to detail that ensures the quality and consistency for each meal. Dinner was followed up with one of the many delicious desserts they offer. (Hint: Try the bread pudding!)

Every meal was delectably scrumptious. We have never been disappointed with anything on the menu. Glenn especially loves the steel-cut oatmeal they serve for breakfast. A big thank you Barbara for sending him home with a bag to make and enjoy at home! You have made him very happy this week!

Perusing the menu (Loved the beef stroganoff!)

Relaxing in our amazing room



Looking at the view from the Cupola in our room

On the drive home we reflected on the wonderful weekend we have had.  The memories are priceless. To everyone that made this wish happen, we can't thank you enough. Glenn has said many times how glad he is that we were able to go. Many people were extremely generous in making this happen, especially in such a short time.  We truly appreciate it!

http://geisergrand.com

http://wishgranters.org

The Vision List

Many people make a bucket list--things you want to do before you "kick the bucket". For those of you that know Glenn, even if only casually, you know there would be no bucket list for him. He would not count the days, he would make the days count. 

Glenn doesn't talk about "kicking the bucket". Every day he lives to keep "The Vision". From the beginning of this journey he's talked about keeping the vision of living life to the fullest, having hope, and his life motto: Enjoy Life!

Those are the things that are on Glenn's Vision List. Things he wants to do that create hope and give joy to his life and to others. Not once has he mentioned material things. Everything about The Vision involves family and friends; spending time with people you care about. (Although food does seem to be a pretty prevalent theme too!) When he starts getting bored or restless he will say we need to keep "The Vision" and comes up with a new insight in what we should accomplish.  Some of them are:

Celebrating his sister Shirley's birthday.

 Shirley has taken care of Glenn since he was born and he calls her his other "Mother Bear". She has looked out for him and made many sacrifices for him. She was on her way to Arizona to snowbird for the winter when Glenn was diagnosed. She instead stayed close by, enduring the worse winter in a long time, and has looked out for him the past few months. We love you Shirley! And a special thanks to our niece Kim for having such a fun party. It was just what we needed!

Having dinner with friends
Steve and Rosemary have been our friends since Glenn and I met. Thanks for the fabulous food and the Mexican Fiesta.
Wonderful friends and delicious food. Ole!

"Going for a little ride"
Valentines Day
Ended up in Idaho City for a fabulous prime rib dinner and a good time together as sweethearts.
Smooth Mr. Haar, very smooth!



McCall, Idaho
The ice sculptures at St. Lukes hospital in McCall
Glenn wanted to get away from all the "activity" that was going on at home with the increase in visitors, hospice, etc. (We love you hospice!) It seemed like there wasn't any time for just the two of us. So off we went to McCall. It was quite a production to get there. We want to especially thank the Cancer Care Center for sending Glenn's information to the hospital in McCall and making arrangements so they would be prepared if we needed them. We made a trial run to check things out "just in case" but everything went smoothly. Glenn is such a warrior. He was determined to keep the vision and it was a wonderful three days for us.



  

Dinner at Lardo's

Breakfast at the Pancake House



Skyping with the cutest grandbabies on the planet!
Having cupcake time with Addison and Jonas

Jonas






The Boise Philharmonic
WOW!!!
This was the most amazing performance we have ever been to. Talk about keeping The Vision alive, this was more than we ever would have imagined. The Philharmonic was amazing but when the Master Chorale joined the stage the  performance was to live for! An amazing night.



We were able to share the Boise Philharmonic with our friend Dave and our nephew Chad thanks to an amazing gift from a friend of Glenn's. This was such a generous gift and we can't thank you enough! We were truly blown away by your generosity. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it. We all enjoyed it so much.

Loving the hot tub!
Who knew something so simple would be sooooo good! Definitely keeping THE VISION!



Enjoying the movies

Enjoying lunch after a doctor appointment

There are so many things that we look at each day that have kept The Vision alive.  Glenn loves having Friday night dinners with our friend Dave sharing Chef Lou  prime rib dinners from Westside Drive-In. He enjoys the visits with family and friends, the fantastic food that has been shared, the emails and cards, and especially all of the prayers. We are blessed daily and appreciate everyone that has contributed to the Vision List.